New York Post reports that Kiwi dudes are a "measly four (bad)" in the sack

sex 19/10/2017

Well, shit guys. American media is ruining our chances with babes abroad, spreading nasty *lies about Kiwi men's ability to flick the bean... 

Yes, New York Post has reported on an online survey that asked 22,753 hetrosexual members of a dating website called 'Saucy Dates,' to rate their last root, from 0 to 10. 

0 : Worst ever
1 : Awful
2 : Extremely bad
3 : Very bad
4 : Bad
5 : Average
6 : Quite good
7 : Good
8 : Very good
9 : Amazing
10 : Best ever

The intention was to help members get better sex. Good of them. 

'Saucy Dates' explain: “If you ever find yourself in the fortunate position of having two offers and not knowing which to take then may be use our stats to help you pick!”

Unfortunately for us, 'Saucy Dates' rated Kiwi men (quote un quote) "a measly 4 (bad)."

Our women scored a "quite good 6."  

The American's came out on top. Bias much, eh New York Post?

Their women took out a solid "very good 8" on par with Canadians, Italians and the French.

American men were also a "very good 8," on par with South Africans... and this one might feel like salt to the wound... take a deep breath boys... Australians...

Pffft. What a joke. What do Americans know anyway?

They just "grab 'em by the pussy" right? They don't understand our deep sexual prowess...

Ladies don't like it when you last too long... They have short attention spans. Letting them do all the work lets them feel like they're in control. And women like control. We don't need to shower before hand, women like our natural musk. Women know how to get themselves off better than we ever will, so it's actually more thoughtful to be selfish... 

*cough*

Right!?