Why New Zealand is a pile of shit, according to fellow New Zealanders
New Zealand sucks because we have poor housing, expensive food and a lack of maple syrup.
That's according to Kiwi users of web forum Reddit, when asked 'What's wrong with your country?' by a Canadian who recently visited our shores.
"We want to move there, so please, convince me not to!" user Taroin posted. "Tell me the worst things about the place, things that might convince me that maybe it isn't as wonderful as we think."
Kiwis were quick to cut the tall poppy - in this case, the country - down.
"Weed ain't legal here and quality ain't much better," said muttonbird1.
"Child abuse, homelessness and suicide of youth are way higher than they should be," added daronjay.
"Unless you are skilled and in demand, wages, quite frankly, are shit," said 60svintage. "Food is bloody expensive - it is either imported which adds to the cost or like dairy, based on global commodity pricing which is why dairy is outrageously expensive here. I've seen product made in NZ for sale cheaper in the UK than here."
"A very masculine culture, with all the emotional repression and sexism that comes with it," suggested IReallyNeedANewName. "Big rural influence, violent national sport, emphasis on stoicism and toughness."
The obvious flaws ticked off, some users had particularly unique gripes about Aotearoa.
"Insufficient ice hockey and maple syrup," said black_flag.
"The locals are often unsure if they're a bird, a fruit, or a person," said MailOrderHusband.
"Some of the birds smell like old violin cases. It's terrible," added Oligosomanigriplanta.
User ron_manager had a list of complaints, including poor housing, a lack of arts, rampant anti-intellectualism, non-existent work ethic, bad wages and "insanely expensive" food.
"Apart from those things it's pretty bloody great."
Some users told Taroin not be fooled by New Zealand's stunning landscapes.
"Are you going to live in a national park? No," _wlwp said. "The cities are ugly and the houses are shit."
Another person told Taroin they probably enjoyed their time in New Zealand because they didn't "didn't go to any places ending in 'nui'".
"It's a cheeky generalisation, but they (around here especially) are holes."
New Zealand recently fell to 17th on the Good Country Index, which ranks countries based on how much they give and take away from other countries relative to their size, using data from the UN and other organisations.
We did well in science and technology, world order and health, but poorly in prosperity and equality.
The Netherlands was ranked best country in the world, followed by Switzerland and Denmark. Canada and Singapore were the only non-European countries ranked above New Zealand.