If you stay friends with your ex, study says one of you is a psychopath
Break-ups pretty much always suck a big ol' bag of dicks. There's a bunch of bullshit niceties like "we need to talk" and "it's not you it's me," but perhaps the biggest line of utter, shit-dripping nonsense is the ol' classic "let's still be friends."
Nobody should be friends with their ex. It's painful. It's weird. And now science backs us up, if you're mates with your ex you're probably a psychopath. Or they are.
They purposefully kept them around to exchange “desirable resources” like hookups and other sexual relationships.
And let's just be clear, when we say ex we don't mean a friend you got drunk and hooked up with a couple times and then thought better of it.
And when we say "mates" we don't mean saying happy birthday to them on Facebook once a year and acknowledging them at the supermarket when your trolleys accidentally collide in the spaghetti aisle.
Some people date someone for an extended period of time, have them fall head over heels for them, break up with them and then make them their bestie.
We all know one weird non-couple like this. Hopefully it's not you...
So what about being matey with the ex is so pyscho?
Psychologists have called out people who have the following combination of personality traits; self-admiration, insensitivity and manipulation, as people who use others to their own advantage.
This combination is called the Dark Triad. Yeah, nah, despite how the 'Dark Triad' sounds, it's not a meth-loving gang, it's a personality combo that makes you a bit of a c*nt to date, and as it turns out, a c*nt to stop dating too.
Esquire magazine explains:
"Researchers at Oakland University studied the post-relationship friendships of 861 people and found that those with darker personality traits were more likely to keep exes around as friends. What’s more, they purposefully kept them around to exchange “desirable resources” like hookups and other sexual relationships. They also thought staying friends was more practical (for them) than cutting ties."
So, if you're ex broke up with you and is now repeatedly trying to make contact; they wanna hang out, go for a run, or a casual shop or a coffee - chances are they're screw loose members of the Dark Triad who want to keep you around for their own personal gain, despite what it might cost you emotionally, mentally, physically.
Now's your cue to run mate.
And on the flipside, if you broke up with someone and are still trying to be all friendsy with them, perhaps it's time to check yourself...
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