Do "open relationships" really work?
The ultimate fantasy, right?
A harem of women who all love and adore you and it's all totally cool. They all hang out, braid one anothers hair, practice making out with each other, and cook dinner for you together.
Maybe you're a chick who'd be down for some Blake Lively in Savages action. You know, when she had those two mad hot surfer boyfriends and they all lived together like one big, ridiculously attractive, sex-fuelled family. No complications. Before she got kidnapped by the druglords, of course.
But this isn't a thing that can actually be successful in the real world, right?
Sure people have non-commital "friends with benefits" situations, which allow them to bang multiple people while they figure out what it is they actually want and they keep themselves sane by repetitively saying: "Yeah, yeah this is cool, so long as there's no FEELINGS".
But a functioning open relationship? How? The George Breakfast crew decided to investigate.
Clint asked George listeners:
Can you really have a successful relationship if you're both out there having a hoon on other people?
An "open relationship," a successful, meaningful, long term polyamourous "love" with real "feelings"... that's just for dreamers and Akon, right?
George listener Dan called in telling us all about how a polyamorous relationship can work.
Tammy was left stunned, pondering on the big questions in life: "Do you think you can love more than one person?"
Dan said yes. And he's definitely one to talk, seen as he's MARRIED WITH TWO GIRLFRIENDS.
Infact, Dan's had a successful polyamorous relationship with the wifey for seven years.
There's this massive difference between cheating and being in an open relationship... and the difference is everyone talks.
Clint got to the crunch: "So do you all live in the same house? Is it like Gloriavale?"
"My wife and myself own a house in West Auckland. Eventually I do want to have what's called kitchen table poly, where we all have a house together, where we all have equal responsibility in a intimate relationship."
Just to be clear, Dan isn't religious at all. He simply lives a polyamorous lifestyle. Yes, this is a real thing.
Kara asked: "Do all the women know each other? Do they hang out? Do they talk to each other?"
Dan explained: "It doesn't work without your 'metamours' (partner's partners) knowing each other."
He maintains he's avoided jealousy. One of his girlfriends even attended his wedding.
His wife is currently monogamous, but they occasionally see other people together.
Clint pointed out: "Yeah, but that's just keys in the bowl shit, fun times."
Tammy added: "Sounds like it's all just one way traffic, with you boning all these chicks."
Then Dan came out with this stunner:
As a guy who conducts multiple relationships, you've gotta be careful of falling into that trap of the alphamale has a harem bullshit.
"About three years ago, we were dating another couple for about two years. And they were married as well."
Insert cheap air bnb joke here.
Dan claims he doesn't have a body type preference.
I've dated guys, I've dated couples, I've dated girls. It's more about the connection you form with a person.
If you're thinking this sounds like a pretty sweet deal, Dan's final words of wisdom on how to have a successful open relationship are:
"Read and talk. There are people out there that are happy to share their information. There are communities available on Facebook, if you search polyamory. And yeah, talk to your partner. There's this massive difference between cheating and being in an open relationship and the difference is everyone talks."
Not all heroes wear capes. And some of them have two girlfriends and a wife.