No justice for "aggressive dildo" wielding TPP protestors

dildo 10/05/2017

National MP’s Paula Bennett and Chester Borrows hit two female anti-TPP protestors with their car last year, because they were reportedly threatened by an “aggressive dildo”.

The National Party was on high-dildo alert.

This is post Steven-Joyce-taking-a-dildo-to-the-face, so The National Party was on high-dildo alert. But does that justify running people over with your car?

The law seems to think so.

 Hot off the press from the Shub:

Whanganui MP Chester Borrows has been found not guilty of careless driving causing injury to two protestors in his electorate last year.

Judge Stephanie Edwards handed down her decision on Tuesday following a two-day trial in the Whanganui District Court.

While Paula was testifying she explained: “I think I was most probably most expecting that they would throw the sex toy at the car. I didn’t really want a photo to be in the news with this thing either hitting me or the window right next to me.”

Aggressive. Hostile. Dangerous. Even THREATENING her public image.

Kara asked: "How threatening can a dildo really be?"

Clint jumped in to defend Bennett and Borrows: 

You don’t know, it could have been a glass-penetrating dildo.

Well fuck. Better run ‘em over.

The Shub goes vun deeper with Borrows:

He told the court that he feared his two passengers - Deputy Prime Minister Paul Bennett and her press secretary - could be hurt when he left the motel and was confronted by protesters.

Borrows said before the protest he raised concerns with police about a Facebook post made by activist Phillip Reweti who wrote "see you shortly b*****!" in a post linked to a story about Ms Bennett. Underneath the post he also posted a photo of a dildo with "Paula B" written on it.

Before he left the motel in March where the protest took place he had seen Mr Reweti with the dildo outside the venue.

"He was waving out his dildo and saying he had a present for my passenger," he told the court.

Borrows says he used his judgement as a former police officer and didn't put anyone in danger. When asked why he didn't come to a complete stop, he says he feared someone would jump onto his car or throw something.

If convicted the penalties included up to three years jail or a $4500 fine, and disqualification from driving for at least six months.


There’s been mixed reactions on the not-guilty verdict. But one thing we think we can all agree on: Bennett ought to get to know her dildos better.

Benny Boy puts it perfectly: “I’m just going to put it out there, I don’t think Ms. Bennett has much experience with dildos if she’s referring to this one as aggressive. It’s a normal, average size…”

Get your dildos sorted Bennett. Come on. If it’s a Trojan Horse, or Latin American Double Whopper then we’re talking.