Five cooked festival fashion trends we better not see in 2022

Fashion 28/04/2022

We’re almost five months into 2022 and now that we’re in orange it’s time to start planning our NYE outfits. The festies are ON but before we jump in and talk smack about what people are currently wearing; let's take a look back at all the ridiculous sh*t that's been worn in the past.

1. The Mankini

The only man who can properly rock a mankini is Sacha Baron Cohen. If your mates are telling you that you look mint rocking this, they aren’t your mates. Let’s leave the Mankini where it belongs, in 2006.

2. Morph suits

The early 2010’s were an odd time for fashion history and sometimes things are best left in the past. No one needs to see every inch of your body unless they’re going home with you. If you aren’t stoked with the way your mug looks after a few too many lemonades, just rock your face-mask.

If you still foster a deep love of the humble morph suit, click here to watch George Drive host Brook Gibson wear one while ice skating for the first time.

3. Janties

Believe it or not, it is actually possible for shorts to be too short. In 2019 a fashion company released these for the very reasonable price of $443NZD, which started the trend of denim underwear/janties.

Why pay an extra $343 for 7/8ths less of your shorts? (Yep, that's some fast maths, thanks.) Either rock your undies or your shorts, don’t do both.

4. Glitter boobs

Let’s be clear, this trend got a lot of attention back in 2017 for all the wrong reasons… It’s 2022 and if you still like this look that’s completely okay. Aesthetically though, this look is incredibly overdone and not a sunburn we'd be keen to have. Ouch!

5. Ugly sandals

Do you really want to spend money on something that has the word “ugly” in it? This trend started back in 2018 and is responsible for the comeback of birkenstocks and crocs.

Although it’s still in fashion to rock a pair of ugly sandals, do yourself a favour and leave them at home. You’ve worked too hard on the rest of your ‘fit, why stop now?


Listen, if you disagree with any of the statements above, that's a-okay. Fashion is all relative, baby. Wear what makes you feel good! And maybe consider how easy it will be to eat, drink and use those filthy port-a-loos in a morph suit? Just a thought. 

At the end of the day, no one reaaaally cares about how you look other than you. Just know that if you do decide to wear that mankini, people will probably maintain those now-defunct social distancing rules.