Sex-crazed Dave the duck had penis removed after trying to bang too often

funny shit 06/12/2019

Absolutely heartbroken for poor Dave the duck who had to have his dick removed last week because he was too horny. A moment of silence please.

After trying to mate with his female duck partners 10 times a day, his penis unfortunately became injured and infected, poor little guy. 

Antibiotics and painkillers didn't solve the issue, leading to only one solution: his penis had to be cut down to only one centimetre. 

"The end of his penis had basically died and it was pretty horrific. It looked weird – it was quite worrying. It started not going in and we’d give him a bath to keep it clean but then the tip started going gangrenous and getting infected so that’s when we had to take him into the vet," said Dave's owner Josh Watson. 

While Dave can no longer mate with his penis, he can still urinate as ducks don't pass urine through their penis's. If you want to see a pic of Dave's penis before surgery, we've included one at the bottom of this article for you. Just be warned though, it's pretty grim.

"He’s doing fine now, he’s quite resilient for a duck. The only downfall is that he’s lost his willy. I think he feels pretty upset about it. I think he’s a nymphomaniac. He’s got a high sex drive basically. So I think that’s what caused it," said Josh.

"He tries to mate with his female companions a lot. Every chance he can get. I’d say between five and ten times a day, maybe more. It’s not even mating season at the moment and obviously over mating season he gets more of a drive to do it,"

"He doesn’t stop throughout the year. Over winter he’s meant to calm down. The ducks stop laying eggs but he doesn’t stop mating. He just carries on. I think his female companions do like him. They obviously sometimes get fed up with him and wander off,"

Since returning home after surgery, Dave has been separated from his fellow ducks to help him fully recover. Josh and his partner’s four three-year-old ducks no longer lay as many eggs as they used to and have become pets. They spend their days on the couple’s big lawn and in an enclosure at the top of the garden at night.

Vet Sonya Miles, who operated on Dave, said some "overuse and him being far too amorous" had caused his penis to prolapse before he injured it and it became infected.

If they hadn’t removed his penis, Sonya says, the infection could have spread elsewhere in his body and put his life at risk.

"It turns out Dave had been over-amorous with the ladies that he lives with which had caused his penis to prolapse. This resulted in his penis getting traumatised and then pretty infected. He’d basically injured the tip of his penis and had a wound on it that had got infected," said Sonya. 

"Female ducks can actually be quite aggressive and if they don’t want his attention then they will peck at anything including his penis. I think [his penis] took the brunt of it unfortunately. It’s brutal,"

"On the face of it he was actually pretty oblivious to the fact that he’d lost his manhood. He was up and about and eating and doing his normal duck things immediately post surgery. But at the end of the day it’s not going to stop him having a completely normal life. It’s not going to bother him too much."

Poor Dave, we feel for ya buddy.