This is awkward: A new study reckons under 40s shouldn't drink alcohol at all

Right Here Right Now 25/07/2022

In news that’s gonna be harder to digest than a dusty brunch, scientists reckon anyone below the age of 40 should not be drinking grog AT ALL.

The study, completed by the Global Burden of Diseases, looked at how alcohol can affect 22 health outcomes, such as injuries, cancers, and heart diseases.

They found that almost 60% of the people who were boozing too much were aged between 15 - 39. Health benefits from drinking for those in that group are fuck all and the health risks are increased.

Senior author of the study, Dr Emmanuela Gakidou, had some harsh, harsh words about the study. 

Our message is simple: young people should not drink.

God damn Emmanuela, why you gotta put it like that? 

She told The Guardian that she knows those in their twenties and late teens are probably always going to drink, but she is just reflecting what the study told her.

“While it may not be realistic to think young adults will abstain from drinking, we do think it’s important to communicate the latest evidence so that everyone can make informed decisions about their health.”

Around 1.34 billion people across 204 countries drank too much piss during the cursed year of 2020, according to the study. We get that 2020 was the start of all this covid shit and lockdowns but that is a crazy number to see. 

Dr Richard Piper, an executive at Alcohol Change UK, also told The Guardian that alcohol is pretty shit for your health. He recommends not drinking, but if you are, keep it to around six beers a week.  

“If you care about your health, by far the best approach is not to drink at all. If you do choose to drink alcohol … do not exceed 14 units a week [which is six beer bottles] have at least three alcohol-free days a week, and never have more than six units in one day.”

For those above the age of 40, drinking a little alcohol can actually help prevent diseases and strokes. Around one or two small glasses of red wine would be enough. 

This is some tough news to hear but you should listen to it and make your own choices. 

In other news, our 40th birthday parties are going to be sick.