Sexologist, Nikki Goldstein, opened up to the Daily Mail last week, explaining why sickly, sweet couples who over-post on social media might not be as loved up as their social media presence suggests.
You know exactly what we’re talking about. You see it all the time. Some kissing selfie appears in your feed from Jess, your friends, friends, hot sister, with the caption; “Everyday I wake up and I’m so grateful for my partner. You’re my world baby, my man, my rock, my everything. Love you forever boo boo.” #truelove #kisses #seeyalaterFB #i’msoinlove #grateful #lucky.
Everything inside you kind of recoils. You feel weird seeing such a personal moment from your friends, friends, sister… For a moment you think “God, I’m so alone...where the fuck is my cat?” Then you think, “Well, at least I don’t make people want to vomit just by being happy…”
But. Are they really that happy?
Goldstein has claimed that those who feel the need to broadcast their love to their entire social media circle, are often battling insecurities or having issues with their partner.
The desire to share these moments is usually based on a need for validation and likes from everybody else in their life, rather than sharing a special moment with their person.
Valid point Goldstein.
“The likes and comments can be so validating that when someone is really struggling, that’s where they get their up from – not the person making the gesture, but what other people will say about it.”
“You see people who focus so much on taking a ‘relfie’ – a relationship selfie – and getting the right filter and hashtags that they’re missing the moment.”
“Couples are taking photos, straight away putting them online and then watching the likes and comments instead of being with their partners.”
You know how it is... Two weeks later Jess is regramming some cheesy quote about moving on, with the caption; “Letting go of the poisonous things in my life, life’s already looking brighter without you.”
Sorry Jess… Just. Wut.
Goldstein also said partners who need to boast about their relationship online often have a possessive and insecure nature, calling someone “my bae” or “my man” shows a need to express that that person “belongs” to you, to the rest of the world.
So lovers, maybe this will leave you thinking, next time you go to post a photo of your relationship, is this a legitimate moment together or did I just take a photo so everybody else would think I’m happy?