Men only want women to orgasm so they can feel manly
A new study published in the Journal of Sex Research, has found your boyfriend's constant checking up on whether you’ve finished or not isn’t cause he cares about you having a good time.
He just needs to feel like he’s good at sex so he can fulfil his masculine expectations...
The study analysed 810 men who were 18+ and attracted to women.
The experiment involved participants reading one of four anecdotes that asked them to imagine having sex with someone they’d done the deed with at least three times already.
The variables were either the woman always reached climax with the man, whether she had or hadn’t with previous partners, or never did, whether she had or hadn’t with previous partners.
Then the researchers took note of the participant's sexual esteems and notions of masculinity.
Shocker, the study found there was a higher feeling of masculinity when the lady in question experienced an orgasm. Interestingly however, the woman’s sexual history did little to influence the man’s feelings.
The study’s authors have said that a man’s obsession with getting a woman to reach her happy ending may cause him to “dismiss important contextual factors and/or women’s own agency and experience around sexual pleasure.”
They also said women's orgasms "shouldn't be seen as another notch on the bedpost, so to speak. Women's orgasms should be experienced—when they are wanted—as a wonderful part of sexuality, not as something men give to women as an example of their prowess."
They continued: "Cultural ideas about masculinity push many men to feel like they need to live up to certain ideals, and this ends up being bad for sexual pleasure."
Pleasure is experienced in different ways for everybody. The partner you’re doing in the moment may get off on something very different to your previous experiences.
So what we can take from this? It does matter A LOT to men whether their partners orgasm. Whether this is for the right reason or not...
The thing is, a woman’s sexual pleasure isn’t always as clear-cut as a man's. And many women struggle to communicate the many different ways sex does it for them and where their pleasure comes from (calm down, we didn’t say all women, but we hear tell, quite a few).
Perhaps guys need to wake up a little, and realise the end goal isn’t actually the big, explosive screaming stereotype PornHub has taught them to aim for… it’s about PLEASURE. From start to finish. And if you get the lady to orgasm too, well great. Just don't get too hung up on it.
I.e. Find out what feels good for them, instead of pounding like a jack hammer, cause that's what made the ex scream as though she won the lottery.