Paddy Gower explains what all this budget talk actually means for YOU
It's been the talk of the town for the last 24 hours.
And by talk of the town we mean The Shub, The Herald, plus a bunch of suited up politicians have saturated our newsfeeds and televisions as best they can with this new 2017 Budget.
But what does 'The Budget' actually mean for an average George listener? A student? Someone on a standard wage? 50k or less? Or more?
With stellar quotes such as: "Steven Joyce, the finance minister came down from his Beehive office and literally just sprayed some cash everywhere. Just sprayed cash everwhere. 20 bucks a week. Got it out like it was some sort of machine gun. Sprayed it over most of New Zealand."
If you think of the New Zealand voter, perhaps, as being a stripper, Steven Joyce was shoving $20 bills in all different parts of the body, be it male or female.
Paddy Gower explains all.
On more than 50k?
"It literally means cash money...Everyone, pretty much, who is working a regular type job, with a half decent wage, gets a $1000 out of the Government."
50k or less?
"People on or under 50,000 get about $500 a year out of the government. So, like I said, it is a genuine cash spray."
"Students actually got a little something yesterday, 20 bucks extra a week, but only if they're on the allowance."
Yep, it is plain and simple, unadulterated bribery. It is a cash bribe.
"They (National) are literally saying: 'If you want a 1000 bucks, you'll get it starting on April the 1st next year, but you've got to vote for us on September 23, or you get nothing.'"
Now the opposition will need to come up with a counter-budget, but Paddy concedes it will be "difficult" for Labour.
It'll be all about how selfish a voter is... do they want the motorways fixed, or do they want a 1,000 bucks in their bank account? That's what it is going to come down to.
If you're still a bit puzzled, check out Paddy's '5 budget thing you need to know' below. Also mad dabs Paddy. Love your work.