Some Dutch chicks have capitalised on the fact that females love shiny things, infact they've taken the ladies love for all thing shiny to a whole new and "lumionous" level.
*INSERT DRUM ROLL HERE*
Introducing 'The Perfect V', a new range of products marketed towards your missus vagina.
Yes, you read that right, beauty products for the baby cannon are a real thing.
You know, because the hair cuts, and blow drys, and manicures, and pedicures, and brazilians, and tanning sessions, and anal bleaching, and make-up, holy fuck, the make up, and acai bowls with $50 gluten free artificial nuts or whatever the shit is trending at the 'I'll take all your money and call it HEALTH' store, weren't enough of a ridiculously expensive cost and pressure on women to be anything but their natural selves...
Yes, now women are getting creams to maintain 'the Perfect V' thrown at 'em.
We're going to be real here, we reckon (most) Vs are perfect already... But what do we know, eh? We just like sticking our dongs in 'em. Ladies you spend your hard earned money however you like... We're not telling you what to do with your own kitty.
And if a shiny clunge is what you want, look no further.
You can score a vulva highlighter for $75.00 NZD, designed to give a "luminous heightened glow to the V area".
There's a bunch of other products, which are described with words we really don't understand but are oddly intrigued by, such as:
I.e. A VV cream, similar to a "BB Cream" but for her hooha, retailing at around $60 NZD.
Or a vagina "mist" with a fragrance extracted from rose damascaena flower water and cloudberry to "condition and deoderise", which you could score for the bargain price of $45.00 NZD...
So, this is 2018.
The Perfect V has just gone on sale in stores in the UK, sparking outrage that this shit even exists, you can read the full Daily Mail expose here.
And if you're a woman and this article has done anything other than outrage you, or you're actually thinking about investing in some 'Perfect V' goods, as we said above, sure, sure, you do you, here's the link to their store (they do ship to NZ).