Finally, a GOOD Game of Thrones S7 trailer has arrived
None of this teaser shit, we’ve finally got a full length and fulfilling trailer for Game of Thrones s7 and it looks like it could well have given away some of the major plot points for the coming season…
So, look away if you’re a spoiler-phobe.
1. CERSEI AND JAMIE LANNISTER ARE SURROUNDED BY ENEMIES AND SOUND LIKE THEY'RE SHIT OUT OF LUCK.
"Enemies to the east, enemies to the west, enemies to the south, enemies to the north," Queen Cersei narrates at the start of the trailer, as clips of those from the other kingdoms flash on screen.
But in typical Cersei fashion, they won’t be going down without some delusionary thinking and a big ass fight.
"Whatever stands in our way, we will defeat it."
Then Cersei pointedly says: “We’re the last Lannisters… The last Lannisters that count,” before the camera cuts to a shot of Tyrion.
Which is probably GOT saying Tyrion is the only one that REALLY counts (we already knew that). Goddamn, love you Tyrion.
And he's probably going to do something "that really counts" this season.
He always does... just don't kill him GOT writers. We need him.
2. AFTER SIX SEASONS OF BUILD UP, DANY HAS FINALLY LANDED IN WESTEROS AND IS COMING FOR CERSEI
So, then, we get a glimpse of Daenery’s invasion.
“I was born to rule the seven kingdoms, and I will.”
As in, “Bitch, I’m coming for you.”
3. THE STARK SIBLING RIVALRY IS ABOUT TO GET REAL
First off. We get a shot of Arya, but like the last few seasons that have passed... still no idea what's actually going on there.
You're great Arya, but can you get a storyline that actually goes somewhere this season, please?
Meawhile, Sansa has Little Finger whispering in her ear that she’s “the last best hope against the coming storm.”
Which we think is a good indication there’s going to be some serious sibling rivalry going down in this upcoming season.
Jon Snow DID almost completely cook the battle for Winterfell.
Who can forget that grotesque shot of Jon Snow writhing to the top of a mountain of bloody bodies getting squished to death?
And this all happened because Jon decided to ignore Sansa’s warning that Ramsay Bolton was a sick bastard and was defo going to set a trap.
THEN when Ramsay did set a trap, Sansa came to Jon's rescue - with the help of Little Finger.
So, thanks to Sansa, now Jon's 'King of the North' - as you can hear enthusiastically chanted in the trailer.
Buuuuut we all know Little Finger wants Westeros for his self. Plus, Sansa's seen some shit now. She'd be a kickass leader...
And if Cersei and Dany are any indication, Game of Thrones writers love women in power. So who knows what's to come for sure. But shit won't be smooth sailing for house Stark.
4. "THE GREAT WAR IS HERE" I.E. THE WHITE WALKERS ARE HERE!?
And even if Jon Snow did prove he's not the smartest peanut in the turd, thanks to his rookie moves in the Battle of the Bastards last season, his priorities are at least where they ought to be.
In the new trailer he can be seen ploughing on North to take on the White Walkers.
Which is only the longest running and probably most critical plotline of the entire show.
Leaving Ser Davos with the best quote of the trailer:
"If we don't put aside our enmities and bound together, we will die - and then it won't matter whose skeleton sits on the Iron Throne."
Plus the whole trailer wraps up with a shot of a dragon flying over hundreds of troops going to battle, and a narration announcing “the great war is here.”
Great war for the throne, or for HUMANITY?
Either way, hopefully the "great war is here" means all those stale “winter is coming” jokes are finally going to come to an end.
Also, "the great war is here!?"
What am ominous closer, considering current political climates..
But we digress…
Season 7, episode 1 will air on July 16th.
52 more sleeps team!!
Remember, we're only getting seven episodes this time round.
And then after that, there'll only be ONE MORE SEASON. Then Game of Thrones is done for good (bar those four spinoffs they've been talking about)...