New study finds peoples 'ideal number' of sexual partners

sex 05/05/2017

Aaaah, the numbers game. Some of us don’t give a rat's ass. Some of us get mad hung up on it. 

Like Dante in the "37 dicks" scene from the 1994 classic 'Clerks' (watch above). 

It's easy, once you really start thinking about it, to risk falling into the “number” rabbithole.

What does my number mean? Am I a whore? Am I a prude? Should I lie about it? Do I even want to know how many people have plowed my partner?  Have I already met the love of my life somewhere in the middle of all those shit nuggets I screwed while I was at Uni , working on my liver’s stamina? Is my number so high I might have gone past the point of ever finding “the right one”? Is there even such a thing as “the right one” or is life just a fuck-roulette and sometimes someone bearable walks into your life at that very moment you’re craving more meaning and fulfilment, than your standard penetrative experience that just ticks up another number?

Big questions.

However, we think we can universally agree, actually talking about how many previous sexual partners you’ve had with your current partner can make for a very awkward experience. Again, refer to Dante above.

A study conducted by Illicit Encounters, a dating website for married people, (yes, that’s a thing, so everyone surveyed was infact a thirsty cheater) has come to the conclusion that ‘12’ is the magical number/answer both sexes want to hear.

Well. Fuck. The George office is screwed. (See what we did there, ‘screwed’, geddit.)

The surveyed cheaters believed a dozen partners showed someone who was “sexually adventurous, liberal and transient.”

Someone who had fewer than 10 was considered “too conservative” and “sexually inexperienced.”

The survey stated that  “anything above 19 partners is a red flag, as they would consider the person to be ‘too selfish’, ‘difficult to please’ or ‘too eager to jump from partner to partner.'”

The study also found out how many of us actually want to know the magical number. It turns out that 45% of women want to know how many people their significant other's done the dirty with, while 53% of men want to know how much dick their special someone has previously received. 

Remember if you want to have that conversation, you better be prepared to know the hard truth (hard, aye, aye, hard, cause dicks are hard, geddit). And don't forget the magical 'rule of three', Stifler taught us all back in 1999.

Tbh, we recommend forgetting about numbers all together. Life's for living (and fucking) so do what and who you want. 

In General Lee's words of wisdom: "You can't change what's already happened, so just get on with it."