Unfortunate study shows if she’s loud during sex chances are it’s to hurry your average ass up

Music 23/11/2016
Yep, sorry to be the bearer of bad news but turns out moaning Lisa probably isn’t making all that noise because of your mad moves.

G-spots and how much women enjoy sex is a topic we’ve all discussed at some point...


But it’s the noise she makes that’s getting the scientific attention today.

“There isn’t a lot of research,” Kristen Mark, a sexuality researcher (what a job) told CNN,  “we’re bombarded with images through mainstream media that tell us moaning is associated with orgasm and pleasure.”

In a study analysing the sexual patterns in the Archives of Sexual Behavior, 71 sexually active heterosexual women aged between 18-48 were asked questions about their “copulatory vocalisation.”

That’s science speak for bone-moans.

And no, faking it isn't exactly groundbreaking... 

via GIPHY

But how far reaching this faking phenomenon is... now there's a shock. 

Of that sample, 87% said they only moaned to stroke their partner's ego. 66% went even further, saying they moaned in the hopes that their partner's ego would literally explode and they’d blow a load and end the whole ordeal.

While female orgasms were most commonly experienced during foreplay, copulatory vocalisations were reported to be made most often just before and simultaneously with male ejaculation.

Interestingly, us humans aren’t alone in this copulating shit, apparently most females from the primate family are also up for a little vocal encouragement to get the job done.

So maybe this moaning business is just part of our evolutionary make-up.

Some women admitted they made noise in bed to relieve boredom, fatigue, even pain and discomfort… Well, that’s bleak.

But you could look at it like this: many women are having a good time until they start getting noisy, that's their polite way of letting men know they've had enough and to hurry you up. At least there's some reasoning behind this madness... 

So while chances of a woman achieving orgasm from penetrative sex may be low, do not despair.

There’s one very important lesson we can take from all this. And I'm sure you've heard it before. But here it is again for good measure.  

If you’re not a complete self-obsessed fuckboy, never neglect foreplay.

via GIPHY



If this study says anything, foreplay is your best bet at getting you both off.