Turns out our national bird should definitely have laser eyes because they sound like absolute freak demons.
Footage of a Kiwi screaming, roaring and possibly even gargling its bones is going gangbusters online, but its viral wave seems to have stemmed from good ol’ Reddit.
In a video shared to the subreddit ‘Nature Is Fucking Lit’ (hell yeah, brother), u/amish_novelty said: “Apparently the call of a Kiwi sounds like a mini T-Rex.” They're not wrong.
Hey, old mate God: What mood you were in when you gave our innocent, humble and flightless bird the roar of a satanic sabre-tooth tiger stuck at the bottom of a Castle Street flat’s InSinkErator?
Commenters across all of modern society’s homes of mature discussion - social media - have no clue what’s going on.
“I'm pretty sure that if my kids heard that at night they would 100% believe dinosaurs are still alive and not believe any evidence to the contrary,” said one person on Reddit.
“Could've given me an infinite amount of guesses and I wouldn't have come close to describing the sound that fucking thing makes,” another added.
“Shows up. Screams into the night sky. Refuses to elaborate. Runs away,” wrote someone on an Instagram post.
“He kinda looks like a little dude with his hands in his pockets,” another IG user said.
Since we’re on the topic of Kiwis making insanely strange sounds, last week Reddit compiled all of NZ’s greatest viral moments and we chucked them in an article.
We’re talking ‘Nek Minnit’, ‘Rip It Lil Johnny’ and the sound of a dildo hitting New Zealand’s former finance minister Steven Joyce right in the snozzer.
That should soothe the pure fear you would’ve felt from hearing our little bird shriek into the void.